the last few weeks have been a blur, D has been hanging around a lot and then for a minute i thought even P would make a return but without warning, J came back.He didn't let me know he was back, so i decided to half have a dig at him about it and he …
The late night conversation
J: i don't want you to think i'm a dickhead.When i first met you i messaged you every day because i wanted to see what could come of itbut then i've been fucked about so much - i don't know if i'm coming or going.ME: Aw, you don't have to apologise or explain... honestly only …
D for disaster.
D for disaster, G for Gullible and J for Jesus take the wheel.That is my past week in summary.G has ghosted me, so i've removed him off all social media.D was sleeping with the local hairdresser so when drunk i attacked him.J came back to mine then barely spoke to me after.I am back to …
When it all goes South…
This past week has been manic.J returned to town, didn't speak to me... i knew i needed to get him out of my system so i went outFriday night on a mission. I had all my courage cans and decided i would go home with J or take him home with me. I haven't heard …
Meeting G.
well, kind of.I have met him before, but i drove the 3.5hrs to see him again, no regrets so far.He was so laid back, so calm, so relaxed. I didn't pick up any nervous vibes - i met a lot of his friends, definitely wasn't trying to hide me.Was a gentleman, didn't try kiss me …
What if i fall? oh but what if you fly?
So, on Friday i did something really spontaneous for the first time in a really long time!i travelled 3.5hrs to see a boy.I was sick of the limbo we've been talking for over a month so i just decided to go for it.i am glad i did, tbh i wasn't overly nervous which is strange …
2021 – Catch up
it's been awhile, my life has been a rollercoaster.I will break my updates down to 4 sectionsME: I am happy, healthy, exercising finally - 2 weeks into a program, getting up around 6.30am each morning,dressing for myself, putting an effort in to my appearance, blocking bitches, deactivated FB, removed toxic followers on social platforms - …
10 weeks later… still lost.
i'm not sure why this break up has been so hard, I am legitimately struggling to move forward.I have weeks where i think okay i can do this, then i fall back into a hole.I have been talking to two boys, one is showing genuine interest probably more than the othereven invited me to come …
What just happened…
Picture this, i plan to go out on Saturday night, then i plan to stay home, then a friendmessages me saying i should come out... it's 7.40pm but i agree - very spontaneous for me.We go out at 8.30pm, i am in a really cute outfit and the pub is packed, this boy in all …
FINALLY I GOT THE “ICK”
Yep - i finally have got the Ick for J.He showed up the other morning completely unannounced.Things i realised that day.- He cannot communicate- beards/too much hair is not my thing- He has no boundaries- No respect for his partner- He is against my values - drugs- He has gang bangs with his mates who …
All the times I failed 