HINDSIGHT: understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.It has been one hell of week, month and year. 2020 is wild.On Sunday i found myself single - yesterday i found myself back where i truly feel i belong.We moved into this house with such high expectations, it was all going …
BE CAREFUL HOW FAR YOU PUSH ME AWAY..
On Friday he buys a car, this was not a topic of discussion this was something he chose to do on impulse.Understandably (imo) i am upset that this wasn't discussed as the money was taken away from money for renovations... the renovations i contribute to... in the house i also live in...He gets home and …
Mental Load
Today he did another disrespectful thing, he bought a car behind my backand then planned a trip to a town over an hour away to get the said car. The part that hurts me is it was never discussed, i don't know where the money has come fromassuming it has come from the renovation money... …
When the ships sinks…
One minute i am making choices on flooring and windows and the next i am getting kicked out.if you've read all my prior blogs this one will hit different.This time i was sure i had found my person, he bought a house we have been renovating.We moved into this house and cracks started to appear... …
Update
I haven't checked in for awhile, nothing really to report.I am consistently in therapy that's one update, i go once a fortnight for an hour.I am currently working on my self talk, my inner child, my inner voice that berates and belittles methe voice that plants seeds of doubt, that holds me back. I am …
…. Noted …
No matter how deep you bury them…
i feel like a broken record, i feel like i'm running away from my shadow but he doesn't leave.i saw J for the first time in a long time yesterday, and it just feels so strange he smirked how he always does and made a remark he shouldn't have. Last night i dreamt about him, …
SOME PEOPLE COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU…
No matter how deep you bury them.It's the end of April, there is currently a pandemic caused by coronavirus and to top it all off J is back,You know the same J who fucked me up 12 months ago? He has moved home and i knew it would be a matter of time before he …
Note –
1873, the definition of a gentleman “a gentleman is a human being combining a women’s tenderness with a mans courage”
Valentines Day
Yesterday i wrote him a two page love letter, and grabbed some chocolate it's hard to pick for boys!He opened his letter this morning and i reckon i got 40 kisses goodbye, i was already in a love bubble and then he comes home for lunch with roses and chocolate and my heart just melted. …
All the times I failed 